Writing Competitons, or In which rejection isn't as bad as it seems

With my time in The Writer's Voice at a close, I felt it time to write a normal blog post. Okay, so I'm not the best blogger in the world. I tend to forget, or don't feel comfortable enough to write blogs often, but these last couple of contests have bothered me. Not because of the contests themselves, I love the contests and the opportunity they present, but how people are feeling after they get rejected. The posts from people who don't make it break my heart. Not getting picked for these contests doesn't mean you aren't good enough. I'm bothered that a lot of people seem to feel this way.

You're asking what I know about the rejection and contests, right?

I've entered seven or eight contests in the last year since discovering twitter and my first pitch contest back in October. It was a fluke that I happened to find it. I stumbled across a blog post that led me to Brenda Drake and some of the contests that she puts on. I got rejected my first time. At first I was bothered. What did it mean? Was I not good enough? Did I not follow all of the directions? Why did I fail? Then Hubby pointed something out to me. Being a numbers guy, he saw it for what it was. There were over 150 entries. I had a 32 in 150+ chance of getting picked because there were four mentors or so and they had to pick so many entries per team. My odds really weren't all that good.

In seven or eight contest entries, I've only made it into one contest.

I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but that doesn't include all the twitter pitch parties I've participated in and not received anything from agents. All in all, there has been a lot of rejection. At first I wondered why. It hurt that I couldn't seem to get my writing right. There was something that I was failing at and no one would tell me what, but good things also came from these contests. I met one of my CPs, Janet Wrenn, through twitter and pitch parties. I got my internship with the literary agent I read slush for through twitter pitch parties. She wrote a tweet looking for someone to slush read. I answered the tweet and have been reading for her since.

It also means I get to see all sides of rejection, objectively. I've been rejected. I started seriously writing five years ago. Back then I wrote fan fiction for fun, because I was too afraid to try getting published. I was afraid to get rejected. So I posted to fanfiction.net and never gave thought to the many ideas of my own that were floating around. I already knew what would happen once I did. I'd get rejected and everyone would give me a big fat I told you so.

And then we had a family crisis. I was forced to move myself, my hubby and my two younger kids into my parents home and we lived in a small bedroom in the back of the house for six months. Halfway through Hubby had to leave and I moved into a three bedroom house with a three year old and a three month old, on my own. While living with my parents I witnessed something that changed how I thought. I got married at nineteen and had my son three days before I turned 21. I always assumed that one day, after the kids were grown and no longer needing mommy, I'd have time to go to school, get a degree and start a career. Ha! Funny, right? Because:
1. You never stop being Mom. The kids may move away and start families of their own, but they will still call with their problems and stop by and visit whenever. It's fact.

And 2. Lets face it. I'm lazy. I would never go back to school. I'd find myself too old and too afraid to return. Helping the Oldest with his homework brought that thought home. I can't even keep up with his homework.

At the same time, while I was living with my parents again, I watched my mom lose everything she'd known. My three siblings and I were moving out and moving on and Mom didn't know who she was outside of Mom. She'd spent years caring for us, putting our needs before her own, taking us to games and practices, band camps and various other things. Now, she didn't have that. What was she outside of Mom? I'm not convinced she knows, even after five years. I don't want that to be my future. I began to write with the intent of getting published. As a result, I've received a lot of rejections. Lots of query letter rejections.

At the same time, I also give rejections. Sorting through slush means I have that ability. I know the agent's tastes. I know what she's looking for. I've been tested and tried and found worthy. So, I get to send the rejections. It's hard. Sometimes I hate doing it, but it's necessary. Some things just aren't the agent's tastes.

Let me repeat that: Some things are just not this particular agent's tastes.

Why is that important to remember? Because these contests are the same as sending a query letter, in a way. The mentors have their own tastes. They also have the tastes of the playing agents in mind. It wouldn't do anyone any good if they picked a manuscript just to pick a manuscript just so it could get rejected. That wastes your time and the agent's.

Everyone always says the same thing about these rejections. It's all subjective and it is. Let my give you a non-writing example.

See that female twig of a human being? That's my sister. She's always looked that way while I looked like I popped out of the pear shaping mold. She's never had to worry about what she eats and I'm pretty sure she's thinner now, after 2 kids, than she was in high school. Meanwhile, I've always struggled with my weight, watched what I ate, and will never see my high school body again.

 

Why am I telling you about her?

 

When I was fifteen or sixteen, a modeling agency came to my tiny home town and held tryouts of a sort. My sister, being eleven and a half months younger than me, decided that is what she wanted to do with her life. As a result, Mom drug both of us to the try outs. Modeling really isn't my thing. I'm no where near tall enough, nor do I have the body shape for modeling and I love food.

My sister, on the other hand, couldn't wait for the opportunity. So, we went. She'd dressed up in her nicest outfit, fixed her hair until it was perfect and made sure her makeup was just so. At the same time I threw on a t-shirt, pink and purple polka-dotted skirt and flip flops, pulled my hair into a pony tail, ran some eyeliner and mascara over my eyes and followed along behind.

 

My sister did everything perfectly. She walked the America's Next Top Model walk, answered the questions honestly and seemed flawless. I didn't. I walked normally. I sighed while waiting in line. When asked how long I've wanted to model, I gave my best Marilyn Monroe impression as I breathily answered All my life. It wasn't something I really wanted to do, and as a result, I didn't care what their answer would be. Somehow, I managed a call back. My sister didn't.

 

This happened a few times before I told my Mom I wasn't interested.

 

My point in this story is everything in this life really is subjective. My sister did everything perfectly and I got picked. My parents really didn't like my husband when we were dating, but they adored my sister's fiancé. She's been divorced once and I'm going on nine years of marriage to a man they've had to apologize to. I've seen a few manuscripts that I would have loved to read more of that the agent I work for didn't agree with.

 

We're all different. We all have differing opinions on what's right and what's wrong. What's good and what isn't. A rejection doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't good enough. It means you aren't right for those particular people. It's frustrating to get rejected. I know. I'm still looking for that one person who will say yes, but it doesn't mean your aren't good at your craft. It means try harder, research more, and stay strong. 

The journey for me is just starting. The road goes ever on an on, out from the door where it began. I'm being chased by wraiths who are telling me no at every turn.

 

I've made it to the safety of Rivendell where I'm being guided and directed. I'm learning. I'm growing. I've found my flaws and have been told where I need to go from here.



  I have a long journey ahead of me. I have to find the Fellowship that will follow me into the depths of Mount Doom. These contests are just another trail in the road. A test until I get there. The same is for everyone. There may be people further in the process, but they're still struggling with rejection, whether it be from their editor, agent or readers. It's easy to forget that they're getting rejected too.

My journey isn't over just because I got rejected from this last contest. My precious hasn't made it to its journeys end and that's okay. There is still a long road ahead.

 

(Sorry. I had a Hobbit/Lord of the Rings marathon.)

 

 



Feeling like the Mad Hatter at a tea party

Alas, so I'm still laptopless (that's sounds dirty) and am typing off my phone. Yay fun times.

Saturday, as I trolled around Twitter following agents and the new Twitter followers I amassed of the last week (New friends yahoo!) I came across #pitchmadness. Holy cow! 20 min. before the deadline I stumbled onto a crazy world that I am going to forever be grateful for. I sent in my pitch with 5 min. to spare (since it had to be written on my phone, fingers crossed laptop is back this week). I thought that would be the end of it. Boy was I wrong.

First, let me start off by saying this: those of you who know me know I don't have much support in my writing at home. Hubs listens to the first 5 seconds before tuning me out. My brother bought me a novel writing for dummies book with the words "you're failing, thought this would help." Any beta readers, as awesome as they have been, have offered no real critiques. For the last few years I've felt completely alone in writing. Alone and failing miserably.

Maybe not totally alone.

I called up an editor one day and asked some questions. She and I had formed a bit of a relationship. I emailed her, she'd give me answers and ask questions in return. I sent her a couple of queries. The first she was extremely kind. The second made me question my decisions to write. It had nothing to do with my writing at all, she told me to continue perusing an agent, but her email left me feeling empty and confused.

I stopped writing.

Grandma called me earlier this week. If you don't know already, Grandma is living vicariously through me as I seek to get published. She called and asked how the agent search was going. In my head I thought "Grandma I quit. I'm a horrible writer and I'll never get published." Instead I found myself saying, "Grandma I got rejected, but there are tons of editors and agents out there." Say what?

So Saturday night, after my conversation with Grandma, I thought why. Why did I say that? I'd clearly told myself I was done though I have another YA paranormal about people who crush bones to keep demons from bodies and a NA modern retelling of swan lake floating around in my head. She wouldn't have thought less of me if I quit. She did. So why did I tell her I would keep going? I began searching Twitter and the web for answers and came across pitch madness.

What is pitch madness you ask? Whoa ho it's a jolly good time where you pitch your ms in 35 words and send in 250 of the first words of your ms. It goes through a couple rounds of slush readers (why are they called slush readers? It makes me want to go down to circle k and buy a slushie) who constantly leave vague comments on Twitter about the submissions and 60 go on to an agent round where magical things could happen.

I sent In my pitch. I've followed #pitchmadness and even commented. A few of the slush readers comments even sounded like mine (fingers crossed), but something else happened. I started talking to other authors. I'm not alone in this whole writing thing. Agents aren't just rejecting me. I'm not the only one searching fruitlessly for a CP.

And I found one. A fellow author who was looking for a CP as well. We clicked, almost typing along the same lines. We're having the same agent/beta issues. I'm not the only one in the world! I've found someone to talk to.

If nothing comes out of pitch madness this first time for me, it's ok. I've made new friends who think the way I do. I've discovered writing contests that I wouldn't have otherwise found in Small Town, USA. I even found an opportunity to query Suzie Townsend and get an actual critique from her regardless of whether she likes the ms or not. The Pitch Madness party is Sept 14 as well, so I have a few more options than I began with when I told Grandma my white lie. I will continue on learning and growing.

And I'll be trolling #pitchmadness driving myself crazy while finishing my new ms and for the first time in months I'm not nervous about my writing. I'm just going to get better.

That Dreaded Letter

Ugh! I got that dreaded letter in my email a couple days ago. The one that says "Sorry. We don't like your manuscript, but hopefully someone else will." To be honest I sort of expected it. Rejections are most of what I've received lately and I know I'm not that lucky. If I want something, I'm going to have to work for it. It doesn't mean I don't find the rejections frustrating. Believe me. I do.

Rejection letters really offer no closure. They don't have a reason. Just "sorry, not interested." I know that agents and their assistants don't have time to inform everyone of every little detail wrong with their query or manuscript, and I would never ask for that. Sometimes, though, I'd like to know why, something to improve on. "Sorry, you're characters were a little dull," "this part doesn't make enough sense," "the plot isn't as exciting as it could be," etc. Just a small something to work on is better than the standard rejection, I would think.

I'm the kind of person who likes to improve and while I don't always take criticism well, I know it is necessary in life to grow. I live in a small area. I haven't been able to find a writer's group that I like and the people around me feel like I'll never get published and won't read my writing. It feels like I'm alone sometimes in this writing endeavour. Some day I'll prove all the naysayers wrong!

As for some good news, I've gotten a lot written on my latest manuscript. Thirteen chapters, since I can't type on my laptop. The word count puts a pressure on me that isn't necessary. I find myself watching it constantly! Immortal's rough draft should be finished soon and I can get editing and typing it up. Now if I could just find some BETA readers I'd be set...